*swearing alert, if you don’t care to hear cuss words, don’t read.*
So, I spent $250 bucks on my HCG trigger shot yesterday so I would have it today as I had to work all day and wouldn’t have time to get it once I got the call from the clinic. Well, I have a 15mm follicle and lots of smaller 8mm ones….which means that it isn’t big enough to trigger yet. The MD filing in for Dr. Davis suggested another ultrasound in 2 days which would effectively delay IUI until my husband is working his (5) 12 hour night shifts in a row. Things are impossible during those 5 days and I doubt he would have the time or energy to make it in to “donate”. So, this cycle is shit. Now, I have this $250 dollar medication and no where to go with it. I doubt that they will let me take it next cycle without an ultrasound, and I do not/will not pay an additional $500 for another ultrasound. In addition to the $800 insemination…the $150 surprise fee for the MD to interpret this ultrasound and provide a treatment plan. I naturally ovulate late, on day 18 with Clomid. So – hello – a day 12 ultrasound may not have the best results doc. Piss me right the F off. I know that if I shared my frustration with hubs that he would say to just stop doing everything and go with the flow…but I can’t stop doing everything because I don’t ovulate on my own. Fuck.
I know it’s not advised by the docs, but shit, I’m just going to take the shot on my own. Fuck it. I’m just fed up and just completely done with this TTC crap. I’m at the end of the road and hope that God has more in store for me after I give up. My plan was to only try IUI once, give it the good ol’ college try.
Just got the call back from the nurse and yes, they would need the ultrasound before directing me to take the trigger. So, IUI is now done, out of the question. I’m not going to play the game anymore. I will just take the meds and see what happens. I’m done pissing on sticks, worrying about what CD it is, hemorrhaging money out of my ass, and hoping for results. I just registered for the foster parent orientation on November 12th. Might as well start investigating other options and seeing what hubs and are open to.
I’m thinking CD 16 might be a good day to take the trigger next month….I will have to check what our calendar is like around that time. FML.
Another reason that I give up – the nurse yesterday sucked it up. She had no idea what was going on, why I needed to fax them my ultrasound results, and didn’t have a clue how to call me or send a fax, Honestly, I felt like she was confusing me with another patient. With something this important, I don’t want to deal with that. So, fuck it again.